The Dorian Gray Show
by Queen-of-the-random
Summary: my first fic, very random, almost totally dedicated to dorian because i looove him. be prepared for some frightening things...read and review!
1. The Dorian Gray show intro

AN and disclaimer - my first fic, very random, almost totally dedicated to Dorian because i looove him. Be prepared for some frightening things, if you haven't got an imagination, GO AWAY NOW!  
I don't own any of this...man if i owned Dorian.... damn...

Dorian- hello, and welcome to the Dorian gray show. Lets start with a little performance...

I like big butts and I can not lie  
You other brothers can't deny  
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste  
And a round thing in your face  
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough  
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed  
Deep in the jeans she's wearing  
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring  
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha  
And take your picture  
My homeboys tried to warn me  
But with that butt you got makes  
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin  
You say you wanna get in my Benz?  
Well, use me, use me  
'Cause you ain't that average groupie  
I've seen them dancin'  
The hell with romancin'  
She's wet, wet,  
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette  
I'm tired of magazines  
Sayin' flat butts are the thing  
Take the average black man and ask him that  
She gotta pack much back  
So, fellas! Fellas!  
Has your girlfriend got the butt?  
Tell 'em to shake it! Shake it!  
Shake that healthy butt!  
Baby got back!

Skinner-Baby got back!

I like 'em round, and big  
And when I'm throwin' a gig  
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal  
Now here's my scandal  
I wanna get you home  
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh  
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy  
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys  
I want 'em real thick and juicy  
So find that juicy double  
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble  
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble  
So I'm lookin' at rock videos  
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes  
You can have them bimbos  
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo  
A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya  
I won't cuss or hit ya  
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna fuck  
Till the break of dawn  
Baby got it goin' on  
A lot of simps won't like this song  
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it  
And I'd rather stay and play  
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong  
And I'm down to get the friction on  
So, ladies!  
Me- Yeah!  
Ladies!  
Me-Yeah!

If you want to role in my Mercedes Then turn around! Stick it out!  
Even white boys got to shout  
Baby got back!

Tom and skinner-Baby got back!

Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'  
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda  
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda  
My anaconda don't want none  
Unless you've got buns, hon  
You can do side bends or sit-ups,  
But please don't lose that butt  
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role  
And tell you that the butt ain't go  
So they toss it and leave it  
And I pull up quick to retrieve it  
So Cosmo says you're fat  
Well I ain't down with that!  
'Cause your waste is small and your curves are kickin'  
and I'm thinkin' bout stickin'  
to the beanpole dames in the magazines:  
You ain't it, Miss Thing!  
Give me a sista, I can't resist her  
Red beans and rice didn't miss her  
Some knucklehead tried to dis  
'Cause his girls are on my list  
He had game but he chose to hit 'em  
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em  
So ladies, if the butt is round,  
And you want a triple X throw down,  
Dial 1-900-DORIAN-G  
And kick them nasty thoughts  
Baby got back!

Little in the middle but she got much back

dorian- now that i have your attention.........


	2. Bootylicious

AN - the mental image is hilarious. If only you could see what is going through my mind right now... by the way, i need 3 volunteers to be my Dorian Girls, you will see why.  
I don't own Dorian, other characters, or the song. What a shame. I would dress them in pink frilly outfits and make them entertain me all day long. I just realised how demented i really am. It's scary.

* * *

(Dorian is wearing white trousers with DG on the back; in pink lettering. he has a white cane a white top hat to match.)

Dorian- Sawyer, can you handle this?  
Skinner, can you handle this?  
Nemo, can you handle this?  
I don't think they can handle this

(He starts dancing rather.... provocatively...)

Barely move, I've arrived  
Lookin' sexy, lookin' fly  
Baddest guy, guy inside  
DJ, jam tonight  
Spotted me a sexy thang  
There you are, come on baby  
Don't you wanna  
Dance with me  
Can you handle, handle me

You gotta do much better  
If you gone  
Dance with me tonight  
You gotta work your jelly  
If you gone  
Dance with me tonight  
Read my lips carefully  
If you like what you see  
Move, groove, prove  
You can hang with me  
By the looks I got you  
Shook up and scared of me  
Hook up your seatbelt,  
It's time for takeoff

I don't think you  
Ready for this jelly  
I don't think you  
Ready for this jelly  
I don't think you  
Ready for this  
'Cause my body too  
Bootylicious for ya babe

I don't think you  
Ready for this jelly  
I don't think you  
Ready for this jelly  
I don't think you  
Ready for this  
'Cause my body too  
Bootylicious for ya babe

Baby, can you handle this?  
Baby, can you handle this?  
Baby, can you handle this?  
I don't think you  
Can handle this

I'm about to break you off  
H-town goin hard  
Lead my hips,  
Slap my thighs  
Swing my hair,  
Square my eyes  
Lookin' hot,  
Smellin' good  
Groovin' like  
I'm from the hood  
Look over my shoulder,  
I blow you a kiss  
Can you handle,  
Handle this

I don't think you  
Ready for this jelly  
I don't think you  
Ready for this jelly  
I don't think you  
Ready for this  
'Cause my body too  
Bootylicious for ya babe

I don't think you  
Ready for this jelly  
I don't think you  
Ready for this jelly  
I don't think you  
Ready for this  
'Cause my body too  
Bootylicious for ya babe

Move your body  
Up and down  
Make your booty  
Touch the ground  
I can't help but  
Wonder why  
Is my vibe too  
Vibealacious for you,  
Babe

I flaunt my money  
At every chance  
When I whip  
With my hips you  
Slip into a trance  
I'm hoping you can  
Handle all this jelly  
That I have  
Now let's cut a rug  
While we scat some jazz

(in full performance mode, Dorian gets a little bit excited, and throws his hat into the crowd of screaming women)

I don't think you  
Ready for this jelly  
I don't think you  
Ready for this jelly  
I don't think you  
Ready for this  
'Cause my body too  
Bootylicious for ya, babe

(he takes a bow and departs from the stage.)


End file.
